Friday, March 31, 2006

Family reunions 101

Should you find yourself faced with the prospect of a family reunion over the easter break, there are many things you can do to break the monotony. We at Vague offer a few suggestions.

  • Refill half empty bottles of cheap red wine with balsamic vinegar
  • try to convince distant relations that you were the opposite sex the last time they saw you
  • pretend to have a facial tic (believe me, you'll have one at the end of the ordeal)
  • Steal young relatives easter eggs and deny it with chocolate smeared all over your face.
  • convince uncle Randy that he's having an LSD flashback by wearing this:

and yes, that is a gnome riding a unicorn. Enchanting, no?


At April 01, 2006 8:20 AM, Blogger Taphophile said...

OMFG. What on earth did that woman do to deserve that punishment jumper - it's worse than the bikini! Let's see. Cr****t, intarsia, embroidery over the top REALLY stupid pictures AND a turtle neck. LSD flashback is right.

BTW it wasn't me who took your chocolate *swipes at mouth* - promise!

At April 01, 2006 8:43 AM, Blogger the stripey tiger said...

It must have been the 80s -
Gnome?? Unicorn WTF!?

At April 01, 2006 9:22 AM, Blogger Jejune said...

Scary, decidely scary. I mean - someone actually designed this thing, and meant it to look like that, and then the publishers agreed to include it in their book. WTF indeed!!

I think it would be improved immeasurably by the addition of about 1kg of melted chocolate.

LIke the How To Cope With Scary Relatives ideas - the wine turning to balsamic vingar trick - aah, pure joy ;)

At April 02, 2006 2:58 PM, Blogger ReenyFish said...

makes you wonder how many people would have actually tried to knit that...THING! can you imagine?

At April 06, 2006 12:36 AM, Anonymous anneonymousone said...

A quick look made me think of those detailed Hmong embroidered pillows that depict terrifying scenes from the American War in Vietnam.

The second look made me wonder why so many here in the West artificially extend childhood and adolescence with this cutesy stuff. Gack...


Post a Comment

<< Home